I just saw a post from Sandy asking if I had a pic of all the students in the Dec 2003 (I can't believe it's been that long) teacher training. Here it is for her.

I've taken the responsibility of doing a newsletter for the yoga studio. Kind of cool to be able to do it. I sent the first one out the other day. No bouncebacks, and a pretty good percentage of peeps opened it up.

My class the other day was great. I got a couple of commments afterwards, good comments. :-) Made me smile.

I should have gone to class this week but life took over and I haven't been able to spare the time. I NEED to spare it too, so balance is needed.

I haven't written about the new studio, I so ignore this blog!

We've been there now since the beginning of May and the studio is beautiful. The walls are buttery yellow, one entire side of the room is windows facing northeast. A big shrine is over to the right of the stage area. yes, there is a stage.

I don't use the stage when I'm teaching, it feels disconnected when I'm up there. And my classes are small (5 to 7 peeps) so there is no need.

The owner has been a little worried about class sizes but it will grow. We're on a side street with small signage and I think it's going to take a little time for people to find us. I have no doubt that they will tho. IT's also summertime and vacation time and it's so danged hot. It traditionally drops off during the heat so no doubt Oct will be the time it starts to kick yoga butt.

We're having a teacher meeting this wed after the owners last class. Not sure of the main topic but am sure we'll be talking about marketing and naming nomenclature for the classes. I am going to suggest beginner and level 1 be the same thing (they don't seem to be at this moment) and to have an explanation of what the levels are. Yvonne and I are hoping that we can convince the owner to urge students to move up to higher level classes. We do have some people who have been in beginner classes for years now.

My class is called a vinyasa flow class and in reality it's a flow class. Not as many vinyasas to justify the word in the title of the class. Mainly because I get bored of doing all surya namaskars and would rather flow from one pose to another with occasional vinyasas. Secondly my own elbow can't take the weight of so many vinyasas. I mostly teach by doing what I'm asking them to do. Many teachers call out the poses while walking around. It's just a preference thing.

I'm slowly trying to go to more Ashtanga classes but there is only one class at the nearer studio for me to go to and it's not convenient in terms of time. LOL, my main complaint is early classes don't work for me because I am such a night person. In India the day is spent differently than in the west. We don't need to get up early to take advantage of the coolness of the morning. We don't shut down the town early in the evening (which I imagine much of India does). So yes, I believe in tradition but I also believe in listening to your consitution. 10 am would be a perfect early morning to me.

There is an evening class at the other studio I can take but that 8 mile drive is now taking 40 mins due to road construction. Hmmmmm, quandrys eh?

Class tonight was painful. No way can I put weight on my arm. Oddly enough tho, I can straighten it out more than usual during the day after a few minutes of warming up. But I did one sun salutation and realized no way was I gonna be able to do another.

I did end up putting the students up on the ropes. I don't use the ropes very often since I teach a vinyasa class but most of these students are fairly new to yoga and some of what I do is too much for them. So I give them a rest by using the ropes. First we did downdog and then moved into a chest opening swan dive thing where you drop your hips towards the floor and then go into a forward bend. It's something I love to do but I couldn't demonstrate. I had to have Susan do that for me. I tried it once and no way, thought I'd rip the tendon right from it's attachment.

The next class will be at the new studio. Yay. But I'm really bummed that I won't be able to teach normally. At least not until I can figure out how to get my elbow healed.

Patience, all is right where it needs to be.

A very long time between posts here on this blog. Tendonitis in my right elbow has almost totally curtailed my practice. I've had 2 cortisone shots in the last year (each one has lasted about 6 months) and have an appt w/ the Rheumatologist on Monday. Whatever course of action will dictate my yoga practice. Hopefully, I won't have to stop it totally but if there is surgery in my future I will surely be sidelined for a little while. I figure I can still teach, just not demonstrate.

I do have a few students who can be my examples so thats good. But it means I'll be picking up from nothing when I get back, at least in certain areas.

I haven't made up my mind about surgery (especially since it's not even been offered just talked about w/ the Rheumy) but even if there is no surgery I will be either immobilized for a time or be given guidelines along with more PT.

It's all up in the air and a good thing for me to begin once again, a strict meditation seat. I continue to meditate but often with asana to help get the flow going. Easy asana I assure you. No chaturanga, no full body weight on wrists.

It's springtime and I'm thinking I need to start walking.

Went to the Iyengar thing, a nice evening. Haven't finished the book yet am reading that as well as my old copy of Shakti Gawains Living in the Light along with another book (not related to yoga, spirituality, etc).

Missed two weeks of teaching yoga, due to a family function and the Iyengar Royce Hall event. Last Wed got back to class and it was good.

Have been watching, not particpating in a conversation regarding theories of continous manifestation and how that looks to the casual eye and to those who seem to see without using their vision but perhaps the third eye.

Must admit my third eye is rather obscured, I'm not taking that as a negative thing just a truthful thing for me at this moment of my life. The puzzling thing for me (while watching this convo) is how many of those who are posting about clear vision actually practice it as opposed to being able to talk about it.

I feel as if I cannot describe the experience although I have the experience albeit all glimmers...yet some of the writing seems to skirt around actual experience yet convey that *they're* experiencing it and so know it to be true.

LOL, yet I know the experience to be indescribable, so why am I puzzling over it?

Ah well, no matter, I'll live my life as it is for now. It is enough for me to be truthful about my blindness.

Got my Iyengar ticket on Wed. Hooray. Row O.

Headache cycle broken up a little. Didn't have one yesterday, but do have one today. But it's slight.

Back to the workforce as of tomorrow.

Have been dealing with daily headaches since about the 10th. Odd because they come at about the same time every day (late afternoon) and if I try to not take anything for it, they linger for days. They make me nauseaous. After the first 3 days of not taking anything and basically having an underlying headache for those 3 days, I've begun to take Advil at the first sign of one. Just 2 Advil.

For the last few days I've been falling asleep an hour or two after I take the Advil and have been waking up with the headache mostly gone. Not always but at least I'm not nauseaous.

I don't think they're migraines, no aura, just nausea. They might be sinus (because the weather is changing) but I'm not taking anything to help nasal drip so I just don't know. Maybe a flare? I don't know.

My seated meditation is going well. Thank goodness I do it in the morning, if it were in the afternoon I'm thinking that might be out the window.

I'm very thankful for the yogi who posted about Lupus in her blog. Oct is Lupus Awareness month and I don't think it gets the awareness that it should. Breast Cancer awareness gets mucho grande more. It deserves it yes, but it sure would be nice if our sensibilites were opened up to all the different ways we manifest illness so there is more openness to each persons path and leaving behind the judgements of others practices.

Everyone is out of the house so maybe I need to roll out the mat and get going!

What a good class tonight. Just Susan and Teresa. Sadly Teresa is moving and will probably go to the yoga studio thats closer to her new place. I think she'll like that yoga studio (I used to go there on a regular basis) and they guy who runs it is a really nice guy. I am sad to lose her, she said she'd probably stop by every once in a while. That would be fun if she did.

The room tonight was very cool and even tho we did a non-stop vinyasa class I didn't sweat much. I practiced along with them, because they're pretty well versed in the asanas, the structure of the class and all around in the groove.

Susan has some chronically tight shoulders. I'm going to work on shoulders next week I think.

Somewhere in the midst of class all of a sudden (even tho I wasn't warm) I got very bendy. It was a nice release. This summer has been a tight one for me so it was sweet to release without any fanfare.

I'm feeling particularly ahhhhh right now.

A prayer to the universe: Please close today.

Sweet class, the Kung Fu studio next door didn't start thumping until a few seconds after I ended class with Namaste. Perfect.

I think next week I'll have to actually turn the lights on. I'm always sad when the sun goes down that early. A bright spot is in 2007 the US is changing the dates of our annual time change. It will being one week early and end one week later. March and November rather than April and Oct.

Off to bed, fully aware. g'night.

I enjoy reading blogs, specifically those pertaining to yoga. With some I'm fascinated by their descriptions of the physical pracice, others because of the discovery of how they feel during their daily lives.

Sometimes the bloggers themselves mirror my own feelings, one such was a post about not posting about her physical practice any more. Yes, that hit home with me.

I guess I don't see my ability to do a pose or not do a pose a huge problem. And if I continuously post about my inability to do a pose, it just seems to set a running tract thru my body/mind. Mind you, I used to post more often about specific poses, not so much any more.

My mind is clearer now than it was a few years ago and I know in a few years from now it will be clearer than now.

I am ramblin. G'night.

Whoa, wrong blog. Entire post deleted and set to a different blog.

So anyway...

Back on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 I posted a little about going back to Ashtanga. I haven't tho. I love the practice, I miss the practice so why haven't I gone back? I asked myself these questions and the answers that came were:

*I've felt better physically without a daily strenous practice and/or the twinges of guilt if I missed a day.
*I haven't had a significant Lupus flare since I tapered off
*My pitta/vata constitution does dictate more than I've admitted in the past.
*I'm sitting more in meditation.
*LOL, no money for classes. I'm one who apparently *needs* to have at least one class a week to keep me going.

This isn't to say I won't ever go back, am going to go back sooner or later. I'll be making some changes on how I approach the practice tho.

*I will tell Scott about my Lupus.
*I will continue to sit in meditation insteading of *thinking* my practice can stand in for seated meditation.
*Continuing to realize the grace of a stable seat is being still, is being where I am and the last and next practice have no bearing on the present.

yeah, taking this rest from primary works well for me.

Thought - Word - Action

I can look back and note the truth of that. In positive experiences and in not as positive experiences.

I am spontaniously allowing thought to bubble up in a manner that allows me to speak the word to create healthy action. Will examine the thougths that I will not speak to give creation to unhealthy action.

Intent.

Screamin' tension! Not me, but one of my students. Had a terribly upsetting phone call right before class and she was steaming. Vented all over the room too.

I started them out with a short meditation. Paying particular attention with the breath. I feel that all of my students (and I include myself in that) need reminders to breathe. Normally I don't talk too much about prana, fluxations of the mind, etc but rather on asana. Today I talked about prana, the flow of asana, the stuckness of prana. About intent and western goals. Wry looks as we discussed that topic.

Oh yeah, there were some goal driven type-A personalities in class. :-)

Worked a lot with relaxing the shoulders, learning how to feel the weight in our hands instead of holding the shoulders up around the ears and finding our hands don't weight anything at all that way. Used the ropes for flying and forward bends to open up the shoulders (the flying part). Worked alot with feeling the body, being aware of the tension and using the breath to raise prana and release tension. A slower class than usual, but full of energy.

I got a lot out of the energy in the room, the breath of the room as the breath from the students slowed and became more even. Shavasana was watching all of them sink right into the floor.

I'm still resisting the mat during the week. It's so wierd to me that it sits in the car and I'm only taking it out when I need to teach.

I'm still sitting on a semi-regular basis, it's fallen to either less time or less frequency depending upon the day's activities. I prefer to meditate when nobody is home but summer doesn't allow me much time to have that space. I sit outside a lot tho.

Wed night class was good although it wasn't the mind stilling practice it often becomes. I had 2 new students in class so lots of the class was getting them thru the poses. I know thats one of the reasons I prefer students with knowledge of asanas because the flow of no-mind can be achieved in class. But there is a sweet flow when you have a new student who you can see sink right into savasana with ease.

Ah, a week in Del Mar and no yoga. Didn't get to any classes and was toooooo lazy to get the mat out of the car. A failure of physical exertion.

I sat each day, most days with inward focus, one or two days reflecting...hell, call it as it is, ruminating. Many external things circling and tying me into knots that could so easily be untied.

Managed to loosen some of the knots.

"...if I can change the frame, the picture always looks quite different." Quoted from Lama Surya Das blog.

Viewing the knots, viewing the frame I can see both images similar to the 3D picture books where you unfocus the eyes. Lose the unfocusness and there is the other image again.

Went to a beginner Iyengar class the other day. Good for me, raising my awareness in ways that a more difficult (physically) practice rarely touches on. Felt a touch of something sweet when the teacher told everyone to sit on 3 blankets so I did. Teacher knows me, knows my flexibility and mentioned outloud that I was a good student because I was following her instructions. Then she said, if you know you don't need the blankets (like Vivage here) you may get rid of them. :-) So I did.

A different reaction than years ago where I might have just done my thing even tho the teacher instructed something specific.

Have been invited to attend a 3 day workshop with my Bihar teacher. The course is: Pawanmuktasana. Sankalpa blessings.

I must start posting about my daily practice. It's so little these days, and not worth opening this blog tho. I've been particularly tight in the hamstrings lately, whats up with that? It might be because the whole family is home since it's summer vacation and the normally quiet nobody is home but me is now a sweet memory.

Tonights class was good. No talking at all for the first 50 mins or so. Straight flow, the room was hot, the pace slow. Mixed crowd again, 2 beginners and 2 with much more experience and flexibility. I did the whole class with them, which for me helps me to not talk. Did pranayama, which I don't often do in class. Meditation yes, but 4.2.4.2 breath no.

We did Kurmasana tonight, something I don't often put them thru. They liked it. Also, did a couple of arm balances, which they really liked.

Second class, no students and I keep wondering how long they're going to pay me to sit in a room (practicing my own practice) without students. I'm ok with it, I can stay the entire hour or I can leave after 15 mins. Either way I get paid. I do like having that second hour to do yoga. I get a full 2 1/2 hours of yoga (if I do my own class and then do a practice at the gym). Normally I don't really get a real practice when I'm teaching but I do get some bliss depending on how the class dynamics are at the time.

Hey, and my left shoulder/elbow is feeling better, it's feeling like it's healing bit by bit.

Yesterday I was at Target getting little gifties for my daughters friend. While I was looking at some items I heard someone saying hi to me. Looked up, didn't recognize the man smiling and looking right at me, but I still said (brightly) Hi there. Then I realized it was the tatted guy from the gym!

He had a cart with a little baby in a car seat perched on top. And a woman with him who he introduced as his wife. Baby was sweetly sleeping and wife was kinda bland in her short intro to me. He introduced me as the new yoga teacher at the gym. Then I saw that the wife had a thyroidectomy scar. asked her about it while I pointed out my own scar. Yikes, she just had a partial 4 wks ago (the incision looks great for 4 wkes) but has to go back in in 9 days to have the rest of it taken out. Turns out her lump was malignant. Poor baby, surgery, cancer and a newish baby.

We ended up talking for 10 or so mins and I was glad we did. She's never known anyone who had a thyroidectomy...although a lady who had had one pointed out the lump in her throat which made her go to the doctor. That first visit was only about 2 wks prior to her first surgery. I thought it was good that within a 6 wk timespan she met 2 other people who'd had thyroidectomies.

I'll have to ask the tatted guy how the wife is doing if I see him at the gym on Wed.

Vicki came back to class last night after a long hiatus. She stepped into the studio saw me and said, "I'm back!" I was so glad to see her because I was afraid something had heppened to her. She said, "Ya know when life so full of stuff, you really need yoga but can't seem to make the time to go". She's been remodeling so after work she was always tied up with doing that. She's contracted all the work seperately.

So at least I had 4. It was a pretty good class. Teresa tried tick-tocks and was fabulously flawless in them. I love it, she was so inspiring that Susan got up on the wall to do 1/2 handstand. Normally she dreads that so I was happy she was inspired.

Gym yoga: The 2 sisters came. They were funny. Very flexible in extended leg things, although both have balance issues at the moment. I'm pretty easy on them and will punch it up a little later.

Afterwards I went up to the front desk to get my check. There was a guy behind the counter all tatted up asking the 2 sisters how they liked the yoga class. As I was standing right there the sisters gave it good comments. LOL. Then the tat guy found out I was the teacher so he was asking questions about yoga. We'll see if he shows up for a class to find out about it. He was telling me he can't do a lot of things because he was in an auto accident years ago and he's got a fused ankle (sorta like my student Ken) and lots of tight tendons from surgery. Ummmm hummmm, gotta stretch to keep the mobility you have, I tell him. That it will only get worse as he ages. So we'll see.

Ei, yi, yi. Went to a graduation party today. Sitting out on the patio I saw a woman who looked familiar but couldn't place her. I figured it'd come to me sooner or later so I just hung out.

A little while later the woman and her hub came over and sat at the same table. She turned to me and said, "Hi, do you remember me? I've been in a couple of your yoga classes!". Ahhhhh, yes, I do remember her. She's the one who insisted that I help her up in headstand and I wasn't comfortable with it.

I asked who they knew CS or VS and he said, I've known V for a few years now and the woman said she'd just met CS & VS. I made introductions (everyone at the table were old friends of CS/VS and 4 of the 7 of us are or were public school teachers. The other 3 at the table are either married to teachers or have taught.

We got on the subject of teaching and yikes. The yoga student and her hub were making all kinds of disparaging remarks about the quality of teachers. I'd say hmmmm, you know my hub and my bro in law (sitting across the table from me) are teachers, so is Susan (who was right next to the yoga teacher), and I used to teach at a community college. Apparently they didn't get it that their remarks about how teachers were so bad was a little irritating to the teachers at the table.

Finally when the guy says something to the effect that teachers don't put themselves out because of tenure my hub says, You may think that but I've never met one who feels that way. Moments later they get up and leave.

It's kinda funny too cuz V is a HS teacher and his with C is an english teacher at the local CC.

Always know your audience.

Twinging sciatica. Hmmmmm.

Tonights class small again. Did a pretty yin class. It got hot in the room pretty quickly, yin is hard in a different way than flow.

They liked it. Ken was there, so he was one of the reasons why I went with a yin flavor tonight. Seemed just right.

for some reason my hamstrings were tight tonight. Weird.

Off to bed or to read or something.

heh, I find myself posting about my classes and not my practice. Well, maybe it is about my practice?

Tonight the YS class was 3. 2 regulars and one new woman. She's taken Christies classes and this was her first flow class. She was pretty in the groove. Which was nice.

Second class had the 13 yr old, again she was so poised. In the middle of my class a personal trainer came in the room w/ his client and used the mirrors in the room. He asked if I were the instructor and when I said yes, he realized I was holding a class. LOL, it wasn't a big deal, although I wondered if I was going to have to kick him out when it was time for Shavasana. Nope, they left right as I was about to start Shavasana.

Cell phones, especially your own vibrating is a pain in the butt. Good thing Heather couldn't really hear it. Sheesh.

Sitting meditation today was nice, not totally there but nice. Afterwards I took a nap. I was hot from cruising the city in a convertable Ford Torino.

The heat was a little distracting in the sitting, and I wasn't cooling down by sitting. So I gave in and took a nap.

The nap was really what I needed.

Later I did some forward bends and began playin w/ standing on my flip flops (that have a wedge heel 2 1/2 inches higher than the toe. Turned them backwards and use the heel part of the shoe to support my toes and effectively give me 2 1/2 inches more to reach to the floor. It was good, gave me a long stretch.

I love forward bends. I love playing the differences between back on the heels and onto the pads of the foot. There is a slight resistance and then a sweet give where you go deeper and then the middle is just right. My natural inclination is to set more on the pads of the foot rather than in the heels...so it's nice to move deeper into the heels and feel the resistance and the melting. I usually tell my students to explore their natural inclinations and then move the other way to feel the other edge.

That forward backwards push pull is something I've been exploring in doing forward bends and backbends. Overall, my natural inclination is forward bends. Sooooo, playing with backbends is an edge for me. I have plenty of bendiness in the spine, both horizontal and vertically. Good chest opening, good spine length but the stuckness is in the shoulders. Shoulders would rather hook my ears in UD but are ok and stay down in camel. Arms up are an issue, arms akimbo are not.

Am going to have someone look at the muscles to see whats up with them. Far too often (every time actually) that my arms are over my head for a minute they begin tingling and there is a lack of blood going to my arms/hands. So some majorly stuck prana there.

Gonna go to bed and veg.

Again class last night (both of them) were light on attendees. The first class was rather fun because Susan knows what to do so I just called out asana and then did them with her. So it was a nice practice as well as teaching session for me. I was pretty lethargic at the beginning of class, it was hot outside and for some reason it kicked in my napping genes. Didn't nap tho, kicked up the practice to a heat generating moderately sweaty pace.

Second class at the gym: There is a workout class before mine and there were 4 in there. Both me and the other teacher tried to get the 4 women to go to my class but none of them bit. All four of them were not fitness types and all 4 had worked pretty hard (given the way they looked anyway) in the previous class. As they were leaving a young girl came into the room asking for the yoga.

Turns out she's 13, had done gymnastics but never yoga. She was flexible. Pretty strong as well. She could easily do tolasna and lolasana. I began with teaching her Sun Salutation A and she found Chaturanga really difficult. The normal difficulties of keeping elbows in and not dropping the pelvis. That class was fun for me too, she was always willing, never complained and was that funny mixture of flexible/not flexible, strong and weak. She even laid in Shavasana with pretty good relaxation. I wasn't expecting such ease from her...only because she was 13 and in a room with a stranger.

I saw her bro and her dad outside at the front desk. Her dad told me she'd told him that yoga was much harder than she thought it would be. That you had to be really strong and she worked hard. I told him, yes, it's more difficult than people think, I do alot of strength poses as well as working on flexibility.

Other than classes yesterday I didn't do my own practice. Sigh.

Hmmmm, lets see if this double posts. I posted this the other day but today when I changed my template this post got lost.

I cannot figure out for the life of me why I totally abandoned this blog. Maybe it had to do with my Ashtanga practice falling out of active thinking? Or because it's a been a transition year for me? Or because I'm just lazy? Or all three.

In any case, my practice these days looks much different. Various injuries, tennis elbow in my left arm since Oct of 2003 and then a fairly sizeable Lupus flare and then tennis elbow in my right elbow since Dec 2004 has taken me out of Ashtanga slowly but surely. Also not being able to afford classes on a weekly basis doesn't help when you know danged well you need the influence.

My practice is much easier these days, physically. Toss down the mat when I feel like it rather than because I must do as perscribed. Much fewer demands on my body. More dristi in the freedom method of Erich Schiffmann. I'm still doing the more difficult poses (I mean difficult for me) I'm just not demanding that my body do what it's asked to do in a daily practice. Currently I have more internal explorations in my practice, sinking into, being there, not pushing.

That said, I'm also looking forward to slowly going back to Ashtanga. But I think (at least today) that the practice today is what will be primary and Ashtanga the secondary practice. I'll just have to tell Scott that forward movement into second series isn't a focus for me.

The 9 months off the shala schedule has done a world of good for me. Changing priorities, changing body, changing focus. Life is good, life is being where it is.

Now off to the mat, feeling the need to move this left shoulder.
xo

I cannot figure out for the life of me why I totally abandoned this blog. Maybe it had to do with my Ashtanga practice falling out of active thinking? Or because it's a been a transition year for me? Or because I'm just lazy? Or all three.

In any case, my practice these days looks much different. Various injuries, tennis elbow in my left arm since Oct of 2003 and then a fairly sizeable Lupus flare and then tennis elbow in my right elbow since Dec 2004 has taken me out of Ashtanga slowly but surely. Also not being able to afford classes on a weekly basis doesn't help when you know danged well you need the influence.

My practice is much easier these days, physically. Toss down the mat when I feel like it rather than because I must do as perscribed. Much fewer demands on my body. More dristi in the freedom method of Erich Schiffmann. I'm still doing the more difficult poses (I mean difficult for me) I'm just not demanding that my body do what it's asked to do in a daily practice. Currently I have more internal explorations in my practice, sinking into, being there, not pushing.

That said, I'm also looking forward to slowly going back to Ashtanga. But I think (at least today) that the practice today is what will be primary and Ashtanga the secondary practice. I'll just have to tell Scott that forward movement into second series isn't a focus for me.

The 9 months off the shala schedule has done a world of good for me. Changing priorities, changing body, changing focus. Life is good, life is being where it is.

Now off to the mat, feeling the need to move this left shoulder.
xo

Totally forgot that I had this blog. Somehow it's cross referencing another blog of mine, long abandoned. Checking to see if this posts on this blog or the other. ta.

Lil, vv and Casey, 2003 

Gee whiz time sure does fly when one isn't working! LOL, I've been working on 2 different dolls for the BB contest and for another at Land of Odds. I've also made a purse or two as well as some small jewelry pieces.

Have also been conversing with Lil about buddhism, karma, actions, and the like. Huge. Have been reading lots of Dalai Lama, lastest is Stages of Meditation. Just started that last night. Also have been reading a bunch of books Susan lent me. I'm in a reading frenzy!

Yoga ~ Wed night class is getting very close. Dinner out next Wed evening after yoga. Celia and Todd decided to make a plan. Very cool, I thought, that they wanted to spend time with the rest of the class outside of class. Am getting 6 to 7 students regularly. A jump up (although slowly) from the 4 or so that were pretty regular from Feb onward. Have subbed the Tues night class tons of times. Yvonne is now teaching that timeslot and I took her class last Tues. She had a good class. I worked and it was gooooood. She doesn't believe in air cond tho. LOL, I really needed my towel for my mat. Then I went to Christys class on Thurs evening. That was good too. Only 5 of us in that class and mostly beginners but it was still really good. Extremely different than my own class and Yvonnes class too.

Tennis elbow still a problem. Neuro did periphal nerve testing last week. Checking for nerve damage and possible MS. Elbow isn't that bad during yoga but I feel it afterwards if I put too much weight on the elbow during class. Out, out, damned tendonitis! LOL, somehow I don't think Shakespeare meant me to use his line that way.

Got a cool im program, called Hello. Can upload pics to my blogger. Will have to take pics of the class. :-)

Some of the old theater group. Yes, we've matured! Yikes. 

I guess I never posted. It's now almost a month later. Ok, so I'm teaching my Wed night yoga class it's fun. I have 4, sometimes 5 regular students. It's pretty cool. Last Wed I had 1 new girl and one who's been before but it's been months since she's been. Both of them were really nice afterwards and gave me nice compliments. I do hope they come back, they added a lot to the class.

It was a hard class. They really did sweat a bunch. I guess I do teach an intermediate class, they all got it, the poses were wonderful and they all could keep up with the pace. Gave them lots of vinyasas to do and some upperbody strength poses.

They are pretty wonderful. I love them and the fun they bring to me on Wed evenings. :-)

OMG, it's been months and months...perhaps tomorrow I"ll post here.

I've got lots to post but perhaps it will be later today. Just wanted to say Happy New Year and wow, another year. I'm having such an adventure, the push/pull of yoga and body/mind. Whirling and settling in, surrender, be soft. :-)

My crooked journey

How does this BlogThis work? Argh, I've got to go to sleep, I'm being commanded by the Universe...or maybe it's the Sleep Fairy. G'night.

Have got to call tomorrow on the hotel reservations. Argh, too much to do and not enough time!

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Christy called me last night and offered a yoga class to me. I took it. It's on Wed evenings, 6:00 - 7:15. She says the class ought to be a good fit and there are a bunch of people who've been coming a long time. Very cool. She's going to call it a Flow class so thats a good thing. I sent out email to all my pals and am hoping at least one or two of them will show up some night.

Only one week and 2 days before the TT in Venice. Hooray!

What is my yoga? An all emcompassing question for me. Lets see.

It used to be about asana, and still is sometimes. It was to help me with my arthritis, to get my muscles to answer my call for mobility. Yes, the asanas did help to my amazement. But it became something different, something indescrible with a label. I found myself unsatisfied with my career, with the infighting for position in that tangled ball of politics. I much preferred my own company, with a few exceptions. I thought while at the same time I listened, but I refused to hear because my thoughts were so loud. But eventually the quiet got louder and the loudness got tiresome. So I heard. Surrender. After much thought (argh) I did.

Pause. Breathe.

I realize there has been a chain of droplets, of quiet. They are so spaced apart that sometimes I missed them conciously but unconciously I've netted a few. I'm getting better at netting them conciously, not great yet but it's coming. I practice. Yoga is to me the kindness that accepts. I cannot see yoga in the strife, but I can see yoga in my reaction to it.

Last night my daughter got cranky with me and yelled at me. Almost at once my body tensed and I took a big breath and yelled right back at her. Do Not Yell At Me. She was very taken aback, as I rarely yell like that. She cried and ran off to the bathroom. I let her cry. I did not go in to explain it to her. I surrendered to my body and reacted honestly and felt as if I needed to stand that ground. She probably does not agree but she has learned a small lesson. That is, like attracts like. My lesson is to ponder my reaction. Could I have stemmed the energy flow and contained it? Should I have contained it? My feeling is that I could not have contained it without further teaching/further examples. No, I never felt the urge to do anything but allow the physical feeling to be released vocally. I need to re-look at this paragraph in 3 months. How naive I am, how simple to think this today, tomorrow may bring another view.

No matter how I post on the Ashtanga board I either don't get reponses or I'm chided. It's odd funny, ironic, sad to me. Perhaps it's time for me to move on, truly there isn't much to learn there other than to watch interaction that I have already too much experienced. I guess it's a sign of surrender, something that I've not practiced enough. I surrender.

Ok, on to past days. Ojai was wonderful, teachers were sometimes light and sometimes strenous. The least strenous was Tim Millers class, he taught to the masses so those of us who were there for a full Primary didn't get that. The flow wasn't really there. BUT despite that it was a really good class. I really liked Tim alot. I saw him at dinner that night and he was very nice. Dana Flynn was pretty wild and free. Boisterous actually. I liked her class. Hmmm, I think I'll just copy and paste what I posted on the Moving Into Stillness board:

I'm putting this here because yoga at the crib was wonderful, freeing, beautiful, peaceful, vivid, relaxing, meditating, emotional and just plain fun and I have a question about yoga retreats/intensives/conferences.

The Crib was my first yoga community get-together. So my question is this: All all yoga get-togethers as incredible as the one I just lived?

Today in the Scott Blossom session he mentioned how different the Ojai setting was to the hotel type settings. I can't imagine staying indoors at a hotel when places like Ojai exist.

Kira and her husband did a fantastic job on the Crib. It was extremely well organized from my perspective and it seemed to run very smoothly. I'm depending on it being successful from all angles because I won't miss it next year. We had activities all day and evening, the classes were wonderful and it was very cool to go to different locations within Ojai to practice.

My classes were: Tim Miller, nice guy, gave us a great Sutra talk. He gave us Sanskrit, we repeated the Sanskrit and then he translated. The class was part Primary and part other poses, a few from second series. It was up on Meditation Mountain and it was beautiful to see the clouds rolling in over the mountains surrounding the valley.

Dana Flynn, free, wild woman after my own heart in personality. A big personality. Did a lot of chanting at first and then onto a strong practice. We were in an Art Gallery for that one. It rained cats and dogs and we had a great view of it coming down into the courtyard.

Kira, beautiful woman, bubbly and warm. Loved her class. Kira has a great rhythm and calmness that urges you to be free to do your yoga. I absolutely loved that she walked around the room, helping, adjusting, encouraging and then slid down into whatever pose we were in and transitioned into the next pose as a visual while describing it. Both me and my friend would come to her class in a heartbeat if we lived in Ojai...and Ojai has a charm and attractiveness that makes you dream of living there.

erich, absolutely perfect session. At Meditation Mount again. He spoke about the helicopter and it seemed he was speaking directly to me. I was in that traffic jam and finally heard the message to make that right turn. Since that time I've heard the message on more than one occasion so hearing him tell the story was perfect. The practice was pure erich. The meditation was great and I wanted more. The asanas were yummy, I love how he helps us understand the poses from a practice pov as well as how to help a student in the poses or sequence(s). There was a bunch of ants running around the floor. I thought for one sec to squish one but heard the message to just blow it over off my mat so it wouldn't get squished. Erich said the night before it was actually raining in that room so a few ants were nothing.

Scott Blossom, wonderful practice. Gave us a great talk about Ayurveda, the breath, fire, and nauli. I really enjoyed his adustments and some of his sequencing. I wanted to speak to him about his knowledge in those areas but didn't have a chance. His class was a perfect way for me to end my weekend.

I'll post more about the speakers and other activities later. Oh and I got a pic of Erich in his Pimpmobile. :-) I told him I was gonna post it here.

gotta go unpack.

I really want to thank you Kira and Eric for your hospitality, love and inspiration, you are the best. Oh and Kira, I have this great memory of you and your mom standing in the kitchen doorway in the auditorum giving each other a kiss. Then your mom gave you a kiss on the palm. I was so in love with that moment. It made me think of my own mom (no longer with us) and my relationship with her and my relationship with my own daughter. I sent kisses and warm hugs and love to both of them. So please tell your mother thank you for reminding me of that perfect mother love.

Sheesh, really long time since my last post. Since then I've gone to the David Swenson TT and am subbing for Jessica (she lost her 20 wk fetus late last week) last night and next Tues. There were 5 in class last night. Jean said to me, "Looks like you've found your niche!" and another girl said she felt good and it was a really good class.

I'm going to Ojai on the 30th, well on the 30th to SB and then on the 31st will be in Ojai til the 2nd.

Must post about the Swenson thing. I broke my toe on Thurs of that week. Tomorrow I'll post about all thats going on with me and my practice.

Hey, I subbed for Christy's Fri 5:30 class.

Class was really fun. It was my RL friend Susan H and a woman named Jean. Both of them have been doing yoga for a while so I didn't really have to teach them basics. That was a nice benefit for me. Made it much easier.

I asked them what they wanted to work on and the answer was inner thighs and forward bends. So we did some forward bends, experimenting with moving forward on our toes slightly and helping Susan with spreading her hips and keeping her back from rounding. Then onward to some sun salutations. Seated forward bends (right, center, left). Gate pose. Badda Konasana, Kurmasana, which neither had ever done. Supta Padangusthasana, Navasana, headstand (which I had them both attempt straight leg descent), then walking down the wall for a half backbend. Not to go for a backbend but to learn to engage the fronts of the thighs and bandas. A couple of easy forward bends and Shavasana.

I asked for feedback and got nice complements. I also told them to make sure if they think of something that might help me be a better teacher to be sure and let me know.

During class tonight I really encouraged both of them to do little things during the day to practice in 30 second increments if need be. I also began forming an idea which I thought might be fun for some students. That idea is to offer up a freeform practice where the student (who would have to have some experience) decides upon their own course of action and the teacher helps either to make corrections or suggest poses to go with other poses, to complement whatever they are trying to work on that evening. It occurs to me often that not enough students are actually practicing when they get home. I know I went to Ashtanga in the first place so I'd know a particular flow. It might work with small groups, difficult with a larger group but I figure when I actually start teaching the classes will likely be smallish.

I had a total blast.

Did eft with Dr. Jim. No telling if it's going to work. I could go down the wall easily, although I didn't reach the floor. It was probably right there too. At least it felt like it. Going back from full standing was another story. I could land on the back of his couch but no way was I going to make it to the floor. Wrists were touchy.

Felt like my legs were wrong, my back seemed to be bending wrong. Did not feel like wheel from the floor.

I think tomorrow I am going to do both Ashtanga and Iyengar, one right after another. Yippee.

Hmmm, next time I come to class Scott wants to have me walk down the wall. I'm not sure if it's for backbends or if its for Kapotasana. He said "after bridge and before? handstand. I can't remember now. In any case, I'm hoping to go Tues or maybe tomorrow if I can get up. Probably for a full backbend.

So today I ate 2 hardboiled eggs and then went to class. It was good but I decided today I really need flashcards. Lets see highlights: not too many of them. Sat in Tolasana for a full minute. Yes, I could see the clock and then decided to see if I could go til it turned. I did. I did it with slow ujjayi breath, not steam engine breath.

You know what? Dead mice stink. Muffin the snake killed em but didn't eat them. I wonder if the dog scared him and he left it. Gonna leave a note for hub to get them out.

Never could get the link to work. Oh well, look her up on Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Was a little tight yesterday. Totally messed up the sequence. Forgot to do Garba! Garba! Can you believe it? I need flash cards. I forgot to eat yesterday. Well, I did eat some corn flakes but other than a 2 handfuls of chips around 1:00 I didn't eat. Oh yeah, I had a rootbeer float. Does that count as food? So yeah, I was shaky in more ways than one. Oh well, practice tomorrow.

I signed up for the david swenson classes in Costa Mesa. Oct 4-10. I've got to call sissy to find out if I can stay with her. She wants me to teach her and Rick yoga so that might be a good way for me to review what I learned that day. In terms of adjustments etc. I think they have very little knowledge in it but I'm not sure.

I wonder if I can teach under the table for a while? It sure would be nice to be on unemployment for a little while. Since in all the years I've worked I've never used it. Hmmmm, now what kind of yoga talk is that?

Hmmm, tried to post Gayle Brandeis book link but it didn't go through. Will try again.


She was great, very soft-spoken and gracious. The book club was very good that night. Very comfy, full of laughter and good food.

It's been a scheduling nightmare this week. First day of school is drop off and pick ups. Have been gone for approx 2 hours each pickup. Today Z had a migraine and I had to go get her at 9:45.

Last nights Mysore class was great. I thought maybe it would be a bad day since I'd been laying off for the last week or so. Have had lots of muscular/joint stiffness/soreness and yoga wasn't helping for once. By Weds I was feeling betterish. So I went to class last night. I truly know my Vipassana is helping me. I was able to totally relax and not stress about what comes next, that helped a lot. I only had to cue off of someone else once where I truly had no idea what was next. This brain fog stuff is for the birds. I was able to touch the ground with my hands bound behind me in the extended forward bends. Yes, it was with help but I had no idea I was even that close. I really thought my arms were pointing straight up to the ceiling, not pointing at the right wall. I gasped in surprise when I actually touched. I've been working on moving my legs closer together so I get more extension. During the forward pose I was thru my legs, that was fun and very easy to relax into.

I was able to get palms to face in Garba, went up into the pop ups and was able to control the stop on all three. Did vinyasa thru all poses cept one, Marchy C to D. Next time I'll go all the way. I was tired at the end of class. Probably my last 3 vinyasas were ugly because my arms were tired. It was where I was yesterday and I'm happy with that.

Scott talked to me about free teacher trainings. He is holding them on Sat at 11 am, which is probably going to be a no go for me on a consistant basis. There are just too many things I'm committed to on Sat. Soccer and kid things. I'm hoping he might move it to Sun. Thats a much easier day for me to commit to. He also plopped down next to me after Shavasana. Wanted to know how I felt about my practice and whether the sequencing was there for me. (I've not told him about my brain fog problem.) I think I'm pretty close to getting second series.

I need to write about book club, it was the best one we've had in a long time. But I've got to go read my book, and rest a while.

Today I watched portions of Bowling for Columbine. Camper's Take the Skinheads Bowling was the theme song. Next time I see Victor I'll have to congratulate him. The film was scary, hard to imagine there are people out there like that. A lot of it made me sick.

Yesterdays yoga: Sarah was teaching and it was good. I love her Supta K adjustments. Her's just work better on me for some reason. I did fuck up the sequencing and it's making me crazy. By this time I should KNOW all of the poses by rote. My feeble brain just isn't working right about it. I'm going to ask Dr. James if he can do EMDR on that and on backbending fears.

Tomorrow is book club and Gayle Brandeis will be attending. I'm having a feta and tomato dish on pasta, a green salad with strawberries and almonds and for dessert I'm having a pecan/caramel with brownies and caramel sauce icecream thingy. Damn, I just realized I forgot to get the Mudslides. Hey, most of it is good for you food. I don't have any protein tho. Seems like I need something. Maybe I'll toss in some white beans?

I'm hoping I can get to an early yoga class tomorrow. But having a dinner party might just squash those plans. If not tomorrow then Sunday for sure. I'll do a home practice tomorrow if I can't get out to the Canyon. At least I won't be driving 40 mins out of my day.

Oh yeah, and we bought new rugs for the living room and for both baths. They're beautiful and my toes love them.